


Apples and Rain

by Sayyjul



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Hurt, M/M, Past, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sayyjul/pseuds/Sayyjul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was never your muse, but you were mine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apples and Rain

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a little drabble I was having some fun with, I've never posted anything on here before but I figured I may as well give it a whirl and start, so this is little beauty is hopefully the beginning of something wonderful. It's unbeta'd, so apologies for any mistakes. Enjoy, and sorry In advance for making this slightly depressing.........

**When he arrives he smells of apples and rain,**

Gone is the thin sheet of tobacco I used to know so well and in its place a pleasant fruity homely smell that says something along the lines of ‘It’s okay, I’ve finally found my place in this world.’

He was always a wonderer, never settling down for long, each trip and each day taking him to places I never had the strength to find, and yet it didn't matter how far he went, like clockwork he would come home with a far off look in his eye, a disappointment, a longing.

I watched that look for two years before it came to be too much. Always searching, never finding, and it became all too clear that what he was searching for he could not find in the confines of our small loft, what he was searching for was himself and I had no place in trying to ask him to find it in me.

He looks good. The shades cover his eyes but there is an air about him that makes him seem so in the moment that my hands are flinching in earnest need to just reach out and touch him. The last time I touched him he stood deathly still, he was on the clock I knew that, always on a countdown to his next greatest masterpiece, but I needed to steal those few minutes to say goodbye, to memorise him. I may not have been the love of his life, but for as long as I had known him, he was the love of mine.

It’s a strange feeling, being back here again in his presence. Three years ago I was all but a Husband. I was a lover, a friend, a protector, a solider, a stranger. And now here we are again and I can feel his eyes on me through his dark raybans sizing me up in much the same way he always did.

I’m not the same man though, that’s what my mouth longs to speak. _You didn’t follow._

And then he smiles.

He smiles and every kiss, every hug, every long languid love making session plays out in my mind. But it’s a new smile, a settled smile, a smile that says hello I’m sorry and I missed you all at once.

 

“Hi” A short wave of his hand and then an awkward laugh before he steps forward toward me suffocating all prospects I had of getting out of this unscathed.

_You always think you’re okay until something happens to prove that you’re not._

_He was always that something. My something._

“You look good” I mumble out as best as I can, the words going numb on my lips.  For as many times as I dreamed about our future meeting it always played out with a more confident more alert version of me. In reality there was nothing alert about the situation, I was drowning once more under his cool green eyes. 

“Babe” A voice calls out, and as if an alarm has been sounded both our heads whip around to seek out the new development.

She’s leggy, blonde and everything you always claimed you never wanted. In fact I’d go as far to say she’s an intruder to our dreams, to our promises to our past.

That’s the thing with the past though, its never graspable once it’s gone, its simply just fact.

“She yours?”

 

I count to ten in my head silently willing myself to stay strong.

“Yes, fiancée”

 

He smells like apples and rain.

I was never the muse.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
